Strange Little Stories
by Rosie Scrivello DDS
Summary: Two Kiss Me, Kate songs that CATS preform. It's really strange. PG13 because of one of the songs.. R/R and be kind..


Strange Little Stories

We Open In Venice 

In a small back alley in the big streets of Little Italy, four cats stood around talking, laughing and giggling. 

"Isn't this the best to help business?" a slim calico giggled while showing off a black collar that said "D I V A" in diamonds. Another queen, a reddish one, came over to her.

"Did that cost a lot?" She gasped.

"It was a steal!" the calico giggled. The red queen took the hint, and laughed along with her. The other two cats, both toms, were laughing about something themselves.

"And then we head to Cromona?" a greyish tabby, who was holding some sort of a cigarette, said sinfully to a white cat with brown spots.

"Yup..." he smiled a devilish smile. "C'mon girls! Time to head out!" he called to the queens. They perked up, and ran over. The calico gave a passionate kiss to the spotted one who held her tight, and then they headed out. 

The cast head up their heads, and assumed what appeared to be normal walking positions of greyish tom, calico queen, white and brown tom and reddish queen. The queens flashed their eyes at any other male cats to whom they passed, with their tails waving high in the air.

"**A troop of strolling players are we...**" the cats sang, giving away their living. "**Not stars like Elive Mayers are we...**" the calico queen sadly said, but still kept up with a happy attitude. "**But just a single band who roams across about land, dispensing for their all freemaloty...**" The calico sang a soprano, the reddish one sang an alto, and the grey and white/brown ones sang tenor. It was quite a sight to see. If you were a cat that is. "**Folk who give discretion are we...**" The brown and white tom stepped forward and sang out: "**No fear to guild attraction are we...**" he sang smiling. The other cats caught up to him. "**But just a crazy group that never ceases to troop,**" and they started to low down with the singing, but still with the same emotion. "**Around the map of Little Italy...!**" The cats spotted something that they obviously knew, because they stopped and went to a little stand by the street. The calico leaned against the stand, while the others just stood around.

"**We open in Venice!**" the cats sang to a small group that had some interest in them. "**We next play in Roma, and then to Cromona,**" they said with seducing eyes. "**Lotsa laughs in Cromona!**" the reddish queen said, enchanting males by wrapping her tail around their necks. "**Our next stop is Farma - that dopey, mopey menace! Then Madua, then Pandua, then we open again!**" the cats sang out. 

"**Where?**" a group of male cats asked with their eyes on the queens. Smiling, the cats continued.

"**We open in Venice! We next play in Roma, and then to Cromona!**" they happily sang. "**Lotsa bars in Cromona!**" the greyish tabby said with spark in his eyes. Giving him a high five, the calico then wrapped her arms around him and frenched him while the other two kept singing. "**Our next stop is Farma - that rootless, tootless menace!**" The other two came out of their embrace at this point. "**Then Madua, then Pandua, then we open again!**" The calico turned to the brown and white one, while the reddish one turned to the tabby. "**Where?**" they laughed. 

"**We open in Venice! We next play in Roma, and then to Cromona!**" The calico wrapped her arms around a random male in the crowd. "**Lotsa dough in Cromona!**" she sang to him. "**Our next stop is Farma - that stingy, dingy menace! Then Mandua, then Pandua, and then we open again! Where?**" They sang, turning to opposite partners.

"**We open in Venice! We next play in Roma, and then to Cromona!**"

"**Lotsa quill in Cromona!**" the white and brown one said with pleasure while he wrapped his arm around the calico. Only the calico joined in because the grey tabby and the red queen were locked in embrace. "**Our next jump is Farma - that heartless, tartless menace!**" The two stopped, joined the group, and then grabbed hands and started to giggle. "**Then Mandua, then Pandua, and then we open again! Where?**" they broke off in running, and with a great leap sang: "**IN VENICE!**" Giggling and carrying on, the four just leaped and bounded away in the sunset.

...About One Year Later...

At the Junkyard, it was a warm summer day. Munkustrap and Demeter were lounging in the car because the trunk was too hot to sit on. Magic and Misto were in the hat, not doing much though. Rosie and Jerrie were sitting right in the middle of the Junkyard talking, Alonzo, Bomby, Tugger, Pounce, Tumble and Vicki were by a pipe flirting and talking.

"So, Munku, what DID you do before you came to the Junkyard?" Demeter asked him suddenly.

"To say the truth, Demi honey, I really truly forgot."

Skimble, for some odd reason, was carrying a stereo and pressed play. On came some very old music - it sounded like violins and flutes playing a happy melody, with a tad of drums in the background. The music slowed down to what only sounded like a piano and violins, and started playing a softer melody. Rosie sat up.

"NO! Can't be!!" she said aloud.

Bomby and Tumble also perked up at the music. "Why are you sitting up?" they asked one another.

Munku, surprising, ran over to where Rosie and Jerrie were lying, now sitting.

"What is this..?" Munku was so lost.

"Wait!!" Rosie called out.

The four who were sitting up came together and started singing.

"**A troupe of strolling players are we...**" they sang.

"MUNKUSTRAP?!" Rosie and Bomby yelled. Quickly recovering, Rosie went forward.

"**Not stars like Elive Mayors are we!**" she sang with pride. Skimble, now was very confused, stopped the music, and just sat there thinking: "_Something is not right with this._"

"**Lotsa bars in Cromona!**" Munku sang, even though the music wasn't playing and that wasn't the right time. Rosie, smiling, leaned over and started to French him all over again. Munku pulled her close.

"MUNKUSTRAP!"

"MUNGOROSIE!" 

Jerrie and Demeter both ran over to them, and started hitting the one opposite their mate. Breaking out of the embrace, they started to explain to the flaming lovers.

"It's our past! We were a group of strolling players!" Bomby called out.

The tribe looked at them in utter confusion and disbelief.

Tumble ran over and played the music, then ran back over, and then wrapped his arm around Rosie's waist. She smiled at him

"**We open in Venice...**" ****

It's Too Darn Hot

It was a scorching hot mid-summer day at the Junkyard. Magic and Rosie lie next to each other, sweating.

"It's... to... hot... to... breathe..." Rosie panted. Beads of sweat rolled down her forehead.

"If you can move, it's 12:30... time... for... radio..." Magic slowly moved her head to her headphones, and put then on. She turned on the radio while Rosie did the same.

"And now, a dedication... If Magic and Rosie are listening, this song 'Too Darn Hot' goes out to you. From Misto and Jerrie, who are also going to be singing it!" Magic and Rosie at each other, and thought the same thing. "_Shit_."

"**It's too darn hot, it's too darn hot.. I'd like to sup with my baby tonight... And play the pup with my baby tonight.. I'd like to sup with my baby tonight, play the pup with my baby tonight, but I ain't up to my baby tonight because it's too darn hot!**" Misto's voice came onto the radio. Rosie playfully nudged Magic, whose eyes were wide open in shock.

  
"**It's too darn hot, it's too darn hot!**" the two sang.

"**I'd like to stop for my baby tonight, and blow my top with my baby tonight. I'd like to stop for my baby tonight, blow my top with my baby tonight, but I'd be awful hot with my baby tonight because it's too darn hot!**" Jerrie's accented voice came on the radio now. Rosie's eyes grew wide while Magic nudged her back.

"**It's too darn hot... It's too darn hot!**" the duet sang.

In a smooth, yet seductive voice, Misto sang another solo. "**I'd like to fool with my baby tonight... Break every rule with my baby tonight... ha ha...**" he gave a seducing cackle. "**I'd like to fool with my baby tonight, break every rule with my baby tonight,**" the two sang, obviously enjoying themselves. "**But pillow, you'll be my baby tonight because it's too darn hot!**" Misto sang.

Rosie and Magic just lie there, eyes wide open. Inside, they were screaming their heads off.

"**According to the Ginza report, every average man, you know, prefers to play his favourite sport when the temperature is low..**" At this comment, Rosie and Magic sat with insulted faces.

"_We are not a sport!_" they thought to themselves.

"**But when the thermometer goes way up and the whether is sizzlin' hot..**" they happily sang.

"**Mister Adam upon his Madame is not.**" Jerrie sang with a "I'm-having-a-good-time-singing" look on his face. Misto joined him. "**Because it's too, too, too darn hot! It's too darn hot! It's tooooo darnnn hot!**" The two sang, now a little annoyed because it WAS to hot to um.. mess around... 

Rosie and Magic were out of words. "Ya know, everyone is listening to this," Rosie said, her voice shaking. Realizing this, both girls fell back down.

"**It's too darn hot.. It's too darn hot!**" Misto and Jerrie were now having a fun time singing this song. The toms were dancing around the studio, but Jerrie soon rushed back to the mic.

"**I'd like to call on my baby tonight, and give my all to my baby tonight!**" Misto now to rushed back to the mic. "**I'd like to call on my baby tonight, and give my all to my baby tonight..**" But then, Jerrie's heavy cockney accent took over. "**But I can't play ball with my baby tonight because it's too darn hot!**" 

Rosie, hearing this, shot up from lying down with a look of shock and embarrassment. Magic had a stifle a giggle, but Rosie shut her up with a stern glance.

"**It's too, too darn hot.. It's too, too darn hot..**"

"**I'd like to meet with my baby tonight...**" Misto's voice took over now. Magic smiled, and Rosie gave a nudge that told her: "Ohhh.. Someone's gonna get lucky!" Magic only looked back at her with a look that said: "And you're not?" 

"**Get off my feet with my baby tonight! I'd like to meet with my baby tonight, get off my feet with my baby tonight, but no repeat with my baby tonight 'cuz it's too darn hot!**" Misto was singing a little too much in character because he was singing with an agonizing tone.

"**It's too darn hot! It's too darn hot!**" they almost shouted. Rosie and Magic were going insane, and now actually laughing

Jerrie's voice took over again. "**I'd like to cooooo with my baby tonight, and pitch some woo with my baby tonight...**"

Misto made it a duet again. "**I'd like to coo with my baby tonight, pitch some woo with my baby tonight...**" And then, for some odd reason, Misto turned to Jerrie and sang: "**But brother, you bite my baby tonight because it's too darn hot!**" Jerrie gave him a look of confusion. Back at the Junkyard, Rosie and Magic sat up again and stared at the radio, then each other, then either the hat or the box, and then fell back down. 

"**According to the Ginza report, every average man, you know, prefers to play his favourite sport when the temperature is low..** **But when the thermometer goes way up and the whether is sizzlin' hot - Mr. Gob for his squab, a marine for his queen, a ti for his cutie pie is not! Because it's too, too, too darn hot! It's too darn hot! It's too, too, too, too darn hot!**" And with that the song ended. 

Rosie removed her head phones and said to Magic: "We are going to be the laughing stock of the whole junkyard."

...The Next Morning...

Rosie was curled up in Jerrie's arms, as was Magic with Misto. Both queens were smiling. Rosie started to roll over, but her arm brushed against something that wasn't Jerrie. Slowly opening her eyes, she screamed.

"YAAII!" 

Magic moved slightly and said, "Jerrie, stop that, we are trying to sleep..."

"MAGIC! MISTO! JERRIE! WAKE UP!!" She frantically yelled.

The three slowly awoke to find that they were surrounded different sport equipment. (ex. hockey puck and stick, soccer ball, football, etc.). In front of Rosie, a baseball and a bat. Laughing, she showed them to Jerrie. In front of Misto and Magic, a rule book that was ripped in half. The four walked out to the middle of the Junkyard holding their stuff and laughed.

"Ha ha... funny..." They all yelled, and the rest of the tribe burst out laughing.


End file.
